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| Directed by | |
Ian MacNaughton
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| Cast: | | |
| Brother / Policeman / Defence attorney / British pedestrian / Mr. Harrison (Apricot) / The Colonel / 'Hell's Grannies' policeman / Jimmy Blankensop / | | Graham Chapman |
| Announcer / Hungarian Citizen / self - Defence Teacher / Sir George Head / Policeman / Interviewer / Mr. Praline / Second General / Christopher | | John Cleese |
| Prosecutor / Marriage Counselor / Arthur Nudge / Self-defence student #4 (interested in pointed sticks) / 'Hell's Grannies' analyst / Arthur Wilson / Arthur Wilson Two / | | Eric Idle |
| Stage Manager / Tobacconist / 2nd Hungarian Man / Squire / Self-defence student #3 / Tenant #1 / Flasher / Mouse Organist Ken Ewing / Fat Soldi | | Terry Jones |
| Self-Defence Nun / Flasher / Uncle Sam / Caterpillar Man / Sign Holder / Conrad Poohs | | Terry Gilliam |
| Gumby / Man with tape recorder / Phrasebook Author / Arthur Pewtey / Second self - defence student / Second Tenant / Lost His Wallet / Shrill Petrol Announce | | Michael Palin |
| Dierdre Pewtey / Storyteller / Milkman Collector / Restaurant Patron #2 / Elsbeth | | Carol Cleveland |
| Voice of Self-Defence Nun / Best Girl | | Connie Booth |
| Himself (archive footage) | | Winston Churchill |
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